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Funniest "Writer Wanted" Ads, Part 2

happy face ballsHere's another round of funny "Writer Wanted" ads. Okay, maybe there's one or two that aren't specifically for writers, but are still funny anyway. I wasn't actually planning to do a part two, until a friend sent me the first one and suggested that I keep going. So, enjoy!

Compile a Hilarious Collection of Jokes about Women

I am looking for a writer to compile a monster book of jokes on the topic of women. The jokes can be clean, dirty, old, new, used, borrowed, blue.

The end product will be an eBook with a minimum of 299 jokes in total and all making fun of women.

PLEASE NOTE that I am looking for a talented writer to work with LONG TERM and will need you to also write other reports , compilations and books in the very near future providing your work is of the highest quality and your price is reasonable.

Please keep in mind that I do require the following from you;

A signed contract stating that this is a WORK FOR HIRE creation that you will own no rights to and that your name will appear nowhere on or within and that I will own all rights to including resell and distribution rights.

The report must be written in;
A font size of 12 points
Times new roman font type
Single spaced
With margins no more than 1” on all sides (left, right, to, bottom)

I also need you to include;
- An amusing 1-2 paragraph introduction that simply explains what the book is about and what it covers. (THIS IS A MUST!)

The completed project is to be delivered in Microsoft word within 14 days of me selecting you. 

Again, I am looking for a talented and original writer to work with long term on a variety of topics as long as your content is of quality and your price per report is reasonable.

This is a VERY EASY job, especially if you are a great writer and researcher, so please bid fairly.

I am not looking to pay any more than $25 for this

IMPORTANT – My codename for this project is Bushby. Please use this codename in your reply to let me know that you have fully read this post, understand completely what to do and that you can do it efficiently to produce high quality work.

Thank you for taking a look at this project and I look forward to developing a long lasting working relationship with you.
We are looking for a humorous writer who can blog about the office dog called Oscar. The premise is that he is a dog that lives in a dog food factory; and each day he’s attempting to get his paws on the food. There is a cat that lives nearby who is his arch nemesis who seems to always get the better of him and wins more food than him. That’s the idea… We’d like to blog a few times per week; ideally the blog would include a cartoon of this weeks story. I would be open to the blog being a cartoon style as long as we had copy to blog.
I have a friend who is a politician in the public service sector who needs some public relations to help improve his image. I wonder if you have some ideas on what you can help with re: blogging, press releases, maintaining a website etc etc. etc.. Is there a way to talk over the phone? Thank you.
Hi. Here is the project and the background, etc. My boyfriend's cat died this summer. We just had a couple of photos of her and they aren't very good - have attached the best one. I need to have the photograph of the cat (just head and shoulders) made into a line type drawing. Something artsy and eclectic, but I want it to look like her - her face and eyes, etc. I paint as a hobby, so I would take that line drawing and transpose onto probably canvas and then paint and add my own personal touches. Thanks. 
I would like a summary of all the Real Housewives Of Atlanta episodes (there have been 3 seasons) and something about the new seasons episode. Document type: Opinion or Editorial, Blog or Web Content Topic or topics to be covered: Summary Of Housewives Of Atlanta Episodes Primary message of the document A summary of Housewives Of Atlanta episodes Target audience Fan of the show Desired length: 2000+ Additional comments: An episode guide 

I just signed up for Match.com and after showing a few friends, they think it needs an overhaul to attract the right kind of woman. I need a woman's touch and opinion for this job