Funniest "Writer Wanted" Ads

As a follow up to my post on navigating writer job postings, I've decided to post some of the strangest and funniest that I've come across in my time as a freelance writer. Feel free to add your own in the comments, or to email me any that should be added to the list. Disclaimer: Any and all identifying information has been obscured for the sake of privacy. All typographical errors and uses of profanity appeared as they were in the original ad.


looking for a co writer.i have 5 horror stories in outline.others already completed and in submission.thought it might be interesting to write with someone must be serious about writing.NO ZOMBIES,WEREWOLVES OR VAMPIRES.that shit is to lame and i wont waste my time on must be sick,twisted and slightly perverted.age,race,gender and sexuality dont mean anything to me.just be a cool person and we can write great stories.e mail or text me for fastest response.[obscured].my name is [obscured],thanks and i hope to hear from you soon.


Get paid to blog!

We are a small production company in [obscured] and we need bloggers to write about our products!

Please include a resume.

You will be paid through Visa cash cards and you are able to work from home. You are able to get paid by check, but that means you would have to fill out forms and get taxed...

We are looking for someone to help us write hundreds of articles and blog posts and blasting them all over the Internet. This job will give

you a good foot in the door into future positions and you will soon learn how easy it is to make good money doing something you enjoy.

reply for more info follow the yellow brick road starting with "us"


I'm a local writer and I'm writing my self-help/memiors. I've just finished the first three chapters and I'm looking for readers and other writers to give me some feedback.

Please take some time to check it out at and let me know what you think. Thanks, [obscured].

Forced to post this job yet again.. Who ever we select we will have them do a trial article to make sure its the style were looking for :) 

Must articles must be sassy, sexy POSITIVE sense of writing. 

500 words each 2% keyword density per article.

Informative but playful style. ******Will be posted on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW THE WEBSITE!!!! or competitors websites to get an idea about drunk texting

Please make sure the keyword is used in the first and last sentence

Texting while intoxicated- 2 articles

Texts from last night - 2 articles

My drunk texts-2 articles

Drunk texting- 2 articles

Drunk messages- - 2 articles

Drunken stupor- - 2 articles

College drunk texts- - 2 articles

Drunk photos

Drunk stories


I am looking for a female fashion writer to research and write copy for an ebook on fashion tips for women with large Breasts.

The book should include information on bra sizing, information on different kinds of bra, colours&patterns, neck lines for tops and cuts of dresses. 

I would also like sample imagery to be included. 

The book should be around 100 pages long.

The writing should be light and conversational, whilst being informative.


Added 8 AUG 2011, 5:51 AM EDT

I would also require information on swimwear for women with big Breasts.


I need to address the US Patent office.

I need to request information regarding all GRANTED petetions in relation to Petetion to Revive Patent under "unavoidable delay"

The patent office grants maybe 100 per year and we want to request a complete list of patents that requested and were GRANTED a petetion to revive under an unavoidable delay

for years 1995- present.

We do not need any file information just the patent numbers .


Okay, this one is not an ad for a writer, but for an illustrator. But, it’s still funny and weird:

I am looking to have a chicken illustration created for a t-shirt. The theme is LMFAO's Pary Rock Anthem. So I am looking for a female chicken in a polka dot bikini (similiar to the LMFAO album art) with a tatoo that reads, "Sorry for Party Rockin."