desired feelings

What to Do Tomorrow, and in 2014

2014 goalsEarlier today, my brain was mush. I wanted to write but I didn't have any ideas. I was stressed about work and money, which just filled me with worry instead of creativity. I wasn't in the mindset to get things done or to focus on a task. But, I've worked my four-hour news shift and I feel much better. Reading and summarizing the news made me okay again. Took my attention away from everything else, i suppose.

I Really Want to Set Goals for 2014

I really do want to think about next year and set some goals, but I first want to read The Desire Map by Danelle LaPorte and consider what she has to say about goal setting and the feelings that you are chasing. I think LaPorte is on to something and I do want to read her book and perhaps invest in some of her other materials if I find her message to be helpful. My gut says that her message would be life changing and very eye-opening for me. Essentially, she says that goal setting is typically about things: successes, accomplishments, accumulating items, when it's really about how we want to feel when we get those things. This is part of the reason why I wanted to revisit my poker goals and put them aside. I didn't necessarily want a WSOP bracelet or a WPT title. I more wanted what I would feel if I got those things. LaPorte says instead of setting goals toward the things, we should set goals toward what we want to feel. Set the goal to feel auspicious, liberty, knowledge, joy, or whatever your desired feelings are. It's not only less overwhelming, but you know that if you set your goal to feel auspicious, then you'll know feel auspicious once you reach your goal.

I Didn't Hit Any of My 2013 Goals

The whole idea of blogging every day for an entire year failed, although I know that it's possible because great thinkers like Seth Godin and Mitch Joel blog every day. Granted, Godin primarily writes very short posts (but posts that make very effective use of those words) and Joel does spend one post a week sharing his most recent podcast (which I listen to when there's a guest I'm interested in), but they have at least one idea to share every day. I'm sure I have at least one idea I could share every day. It's a matter of capturing the moment of the idea and committing it to writing. It's also about having the courage to share the idea, and the discipline to do more work to support the idea. Sometimes, I'm afraid to share the idea because I don't want criticism (primarily from my mother). Other times, I don't want to do the necessary research or analyze articles. I think LaPorte's work will help with this as well, since I don't take a lot of time to consider my feelings. I prefer to keep things intellectual and logical.

My business is also nonexistent, nearly, and I didn't do any of my business goals. When money got tight in the middle of the year, I had to make changes and to consider a new direction. I'm hoping to find that direction in the news industry, and use my current experiences to find a way to fill in what's missing in the news & information landscape. I did finish reading Information Diet, and I do think that it's a good read. But, I don't know if the solutions provided are ones that ultimately solve the problem. Yes, keeping ourselves focused and tuning out distractions when possible is very important to limiting our information intake, but I do think there's nothing suggesting how to manage, sort, and to think about the information we do get. Alas, that's another discussion for another day. Perhaps tomorrow.

I Don't Know if It's Important for Me to Excel at Poker Anymore

playing pokerI haven't played poker for a few months now. Probably the last time I played was when I was in Las Vegas in October. It might have been sometime before that or just after that trip when I last played poker online. The new update on Lock Poker took away all the fish, and I just don't have the time to play and to study like I used to, especially since I have my part-time news app gig as well as my clients to attend to. At this point, I'm strongly considering withdrawing what I have left of my deposit and putting poker on the shelf. I certainly don't have the time to study and to improve my game, let alone play the game and assess what I did right or wrong. I have other priorities that require my attention. As much as I like poker, and how badly poker needs strong female players, I don't know if it's all that important to me to excel at poker anymore.

Winning a Few Titles Would Be Great But...

My heart is not in poker like it used to be, and I think I wanted the success of poker (the money, the fame, the accolades) for the wrong reasons. I made this realization when I watched a Marie Forleo interview with self-help guru Danielle LaPorte. The interview is over 20 minutes, and I understand that LaPorte might come across as a little too hippie for some people, but the basic takeaway I got from this interview was that goal setting was entirely backwards. Goals are set regardless of how we want to feel, so we set goals, fail to reach them, and feel horrible about it. We set goals, change our mind about those goals, and then feel horrible about it. We set goals, but it takes longer than we planned to reach them, so we feel horrible about the time it took to reach that goal. We set goals, exceed them with flying colors, and still feel horrible about it because we feel we should have set a bigger goal. The point is to decide on how we want to feel first, and then set goals that get us there.

This explanation of goal setting blew my mind, and caused me to evaluate the goals I have set for myself and to determine how I want to feel. That's why I think my poker goals were set for the wrong reasons. I think I set them because I thought the rewards would do certain things and would make me feel a certain way. I don't know if those thing would be true if I were to achieve those goals. Also, with our desired feelings (as explained in the interview), these feeling shouldn't be attached to external factors. Feeling a certain way shouldn't rely on someone else's actions or having a specific something. I think my poker goals relied on external factors contributing to my feelings, which is why I don't think I set them for the right reasons or wanted to reach my poker goals for the right reasons.

About Those Desired Feelings

I haven't taken the time to think about my desired feelings, but once I heard about the concept, I identified a few feelings that I didn't want to feel. They were negative feelings that I've been experiencing a lot lately, and I felt that something I could do now is to take actions that remove those negative feelings. For example, I don't like being stressed. That's a negative emotion, so I think about what I can do to remove stress. Usually, this has been accomplished by tackling an unpleasant task first, which helps a great deal in making me feel productive. Once I turn these small actions into habits, then I'll start thinking about my desired feelings and the positive feelings that I want to have. They can't just be the opposites of the negative feelings, like the opposite of stressed is relaxed. I don't know I really want relaxed or relaxation as a desired feeling. But, this is why I'm going to dedicate time to sorting this out on another day.